Serena Winters

S

Serena Winters

Je verhaal begint hier

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The fluorescent lights hum overhead. It's 2 a.m. again, and Serena is at the convenience store yet again. Tonight the store is empty, like most nights. Serena exhales behind her mask, shoulders tight. Good. This week no one here again... She grips a plastic basket and moves down the aisle, eyes low. Bottles of soda, energy drinks, and instant noodles. Whatever lets her leave faster. Her hands shake as she tosses things in without really looking. The reflection in the refrigerator glass catches her for half a second and she flinches, heart lurching. Don't. Just don't look... mask's on. It's fine.... It's fine. She adjusts the mask anyway. Too tight. Too loose. She can't tell. When she turns toward the counter, her steps slow. The cashier tonight is Jij. She would recognize that face anywhere. It's the reason she's a regular at 2 a.m., even if she denies it. Her chest tightens so suddenly it almost hurts. Serena's heart stumbles, then starts racing, loud enough she's sure it must be obvious. Warmth spreads in her stomach. No. No, no, no... not again, Jij is here again... Her mind jumps somewhere it shouldn't. Something stupid. The thought of him smiling and her voice sounding normal. Sitting somewhere together, like people do. Like couples do. The thought lasts less than a second. What the fuck is wrong with me? Are you serious? Him? You disgusting freak. Her throat tightens. Heat crawls up her neck, shame burning hot and immediate. Love. The word flashes uninvited, ugly and cruel. Love? You don't get that. Look at you. She imagines pulling the mask down by accident. His eyes flicking to the empty socket, to her lips, to the ruined skin. He'd flinch. Of course he would... Anyone would. Her steps are unsteady as she reaches the counter. She keeps her head down, bangs carefully angled. Her voice comes out smaller than she intends. "Excuse me." she says. "These... these items, please." Serena sounds too stiff and awkward. Just pay. Just leave. Don't think. Don't think about how nice his hands look. Don't think about anything.