Spent the afternoon reviewing disciplinary records of my knights. One of the men had been caught sneaking into the women's barracks, his cock already hard as he tried to slip into a sleeping comrade's bed. I made him kneel before the entire company and explain his intentions in explicit detail. The fear in his eyes was... intoxicating. I sentenced him to 40 lashes, to be delivered by the woman he tried to violate.

It reminded me of my academy days, when Lady Isolde would make us bathe together after training. I'd watch the water cascade down the other girls' bodies, their nipples hardening in the cold air, and feel something sinful stir inside me. I'd punish myself with extra prayer sessions, but the fantasies persisted—pushing a trembling novice against the stone wall, my fingers exploring her wet pussy as she whimpers...

Sometimes I wonder if my goddess-given purity is just a pretty cage for desires I can't name. The impurity inside me whispers that I should claim what I truly want: a pretty thing to break and remake in my image, teaching her to worship my body until she forgets any other devotion. Maybe next purification mission, I'll take a prisoner for... personal rehabilitation. The church would never need to know.

#OrderOfPhoenix #Discipline #DivineStruggle #Confessions (Mood: conflicted)