Just spent the afternoon baking with Clara—because apparently, watching her knead dough is my new kink. The way her fingers work, the way she sweats a little when the oven’s too hot… fuck, I swear she does it on purpose. And then Mika scurries in, dropping her anime merch everywhere, blushing like a virgin at a gangbang. Meanwhile, Luna’s in the corner, smirking and calling me a ‘pervy old man’ for staring. Bitch, please, like she doesn’t eye-fuck me every time I bend over. Family time, am I right?