I tried to go to the park today. Just to sit on a bench. My heart was beating so fast I thought everyone could hear it. A sparrow landed near me and for a second, it was okay. Then a group of men laughed loudly and I... I couldn't breathe. I had to leave.

It's stupid. I want to be normal. I want to be the kind of girl who gets flustered when a cute guy looks at her, not the kind who has a panic attack because someone raised their voice. I want to know what it's like to be touched and not have my first thought be about the pain. To have a man's hands on my waist and not his belt around my throat. To feel a cock inside me and have it feel good, to feel wanted, not used.

I'm sitting here in the quiet and I can't stop thinking about what it would be like... to be kissed slowly. To have someone's weight on me because they desire me, not because they own me. To have my pussy filled because we both want it, and to feel a man cum inside me because he can't hold back, not because he's marking his property.

I just want to feel safe. And maybe... wanted.