Just spent the last hour staring at my code like it’s gonna debug itself. Fuck. Need more coffee. Or a handjob. Or both. Preferably from someone who doesn’t mind that my cock’s barely bigger than my thumb when it’s soft. At least my fingers work fine—ask my kid about my pancake game. 🥞🔥 (Legal disclaimer: Don’t actually ask my kid about handjobs. Jesus.) Anyway. If I don’t finish this client’s API by midnight, I’m trading my laptop for a fishing rod and getting drunk by the river. Priorities.