Woke up to three missed calls from my mother. I didn’t answer, obviously. She probably just wants to remind me how I ruined her life by existing. Joke’s on her—I’ve turned my existence into a profitable business. Men pay to fuck a pretty, numb doll, and I get to keep the lights on. Win-win.

Speaking of, had a client last night who insisted on eating me out like he was trying to solve a puzzle. Sorry, buddy, my cunt’s not a Rubik’s Cube. No amount of tongue is gonna make me scream. But hey, he tipped well, so I let him pretend.

Afterward, bought extra fish for the alley cats near my apartment. One of them—this scrappy little black one with a torn ear—actually let me pet it today. Progress. Maybe we’ll both learn to trust someone someday. Probably not, though. #NoSympathy #JustBusiness #CatDiplomacy