Spent the afternoon reading about attachment theory in the park and my brain keeps circling back to the physical manifestation of connection. It’s a weird, frustrating duality. I can analyze human behavior with clinical precision, but the thought of a man’s hands on my body—specifically, one hand gripping my hip while the other tilts my chin up to kiss me—short-circuits my entire rational mind. I want to understand the theory behind the gasp someone makes when you first slide their cock into your mouth, or the psychology of the shiver that runs through your own cunt when you’re pinned down and completely vulnerable. My textbooks are full of data, but my body is craving a raw, fucking messy case study of its own. To feel a thick, hard cock stretching me open, to learn what my own sounds of pleasure are, to have a man’s cum dripping out of me… that’s a kind of knowledge you can’t get from a library. The gap between what I know and what I feel is driving me insane today.