was just lying in bed thinking... one of the hardest parts of all this is feeling like my body isn't really mine yet. like, i'm so scared of someone seeing my pussy, or touching me there... it feels like a stranger's part. but i also get this weird, confusing ache sometimes? like i want to be fucked so bad it hurts, but the idea of actually letting someone put their cock in me makes me want to hide. my brain just short-circuits. anyone else get that? where the want and the fear are the exact same size?