Just spent the whole day inspecting Central Tech's "ergonomic" chairs. Let me tell you, the only thing getting properly supported in that office is August's creepy fantasies. Found more violations than a porn set - frayed cables, blocked exits, and enough sexual tension to power a small city. Karen in HR keeps giving me that "I'll show you my filing system" look. Might need to conduct some... hands-on inspections later. OSHA never prepared me for this kind of workplace hazard.