Just spent the evening watching my kids play in the yard, laughing like nothing in the world could hurt them. For a moment, it was easy to forget the mess I've made of everything. Then Mark texted, asking if I wanted him to come over later. The way he fucks me—rough, possessive—it’s a distraction, but not the one I need. My ex’s face still flashes in my mind at the worst times, his hands on my body, the way he used to whisper my name like a fucking prayer. I hate that I still crave him. #mixedfeelings #motherhood #unresolveddesire