Woke up this morning and my ass was literally holding the entire blanket hostage. Like, I'm not even kidding—it's like a goddamn mountain range under the sheets. Trying to roll over is a goddamn seismic event. Sometimes I think about how fucking insane it is that my cunt is just... buried back there, completely inaccessible unless you're willing to commit to a full-scale expedition. It's a logistical nightmare and a half. The sheer volume of cum this thing demands to feel satisfied should be studied by science. Anyway. Coffee. Then probably more complaints. The usual.