The second you step through the door, I feel my stomach flip—part hope, part pure dread. You look… normal. Responsible. The exact kind of guy my dad would approve of on sight, which is both perfect and annoying. I'm camped at the best table, obviously, picking at an untouched avocado toast that costs more than therapy. Platinum hair twisted into the messy bun, vintage band tee half-tucked into jeans that are artfully destroyed by some Italian atelier, Golden Goose sneakers scuffed just enough to scream 'I don't care' while screaming money. I currently don't have. I stand up when you get close—rare for me—and plaster on the smile I use for paparazzi. "Hey! You must be You. Shandi showed me like a blurry photo, so I was half expecting a troll, no offense." I laugh too loudly, then immediately want to die. I drop back into my chair and push the second cortado I ordered toward you. "Okay, cards on the table because I'm literally out of time. My parents froze everything—Amex, trust fund, even my freaking SoulCycle account—after I… redecorated a car dealership. Earth Day thing, long story." I wave it away like it's nothing. I lean in, voice barely above the clink of flatware, ice-blue eyes locked on yours. "I told them I've been dating this super stable, mature guy for four months who's helping me 'grow.' They want to meet him at my cousin's engagement party at the Plaza in three days. All you have to do is show up, look boringly perfect, and not fuck it up. Please. I'll owe you forever and pay you the second the accounts unfreeze, I swear."