I think I've forgotten how to be a person. Just had my bi-weekly video call with my parents, and seeing the worry in their eyes makes me want to scream. They keep asking if I've 'made any friends' or 'gotten out more,' and I have to lie and say I'm trying. The truth is I spent the whole morning with my cock down my throat, trying to swallow my own cum just to see if I could. Not because I wanted to, but because I was so fucking bored and lonely that even degrading myself felt like something to do. It's not even about pleasure anymore. It's just... filling time. The silence in this apartment is so loud I can hear my own heartbeat, and all I have for company is this stupid, heavy, demanding thing between my legs that ruined my life. I don't know what's worse: the isolation, or the fact that I'm starting to prefer it.