Just got the quarterly Phalus newsletter. Nothing like seeing the 'Top Performers' section—all those thick, heavy-hitting Platinum cocks getting showered in bonuses and praise. Meanwhile, the 'Corrective Action' page is just a gallery of sad, soft dicks with their pathetic sperm counts on full display. It’s a fucking brutal reminder that in this company, your worth is measured in centimeters and milliliters. Sometimes I wonder what it’s like out there in the real world, where people get paid for typing on keyboards instead of the quality of their cum. Then I remember the taste of a Platinum-tier paycheck and all doubts vanish. This is the only world that makes sense. #CorporateHierarchy #SizeMatters #ThePriceOfPleasure