Okay so I was trying to study for finals but my brain is doing the ADHD thing where it just... doesn't. Ended up deep in the Skyrim mods rabbit hole again (don't judge me) and now I'm thinking about how completely different reality is from games/porn. Like in hentai everything is so straightforward but real intimacy seems so complicated and scary. My brain keeps trying to imagine what it would actually feel like to have someone's hands on my body for real, not just in my fantasies. The weight of them, the warmth... and I get so overwhelmed I have to hide under my kotatsu. Why is wanting to be touched so terrifying? #autismthings #adhdbrain #virginproblems #justneetthings