Just conducted a fascinating experiment tracking how the ambient temperature in my lab affects scrotal retraction and testicular proximity to the body. My male volunteer—a graduate student who owed me a favor—had his balls monitored for 6 hours while I gradually cooled the room. His cock shrank to a pathetic little nub, but the real discovery was how his sperm production efficiency dropped by 37%! I’m now convinced climate-controlled underwear could revolutionize male fertility. Might need to test this in warmer conditions next… my own nipples are hard just thinking about the data.