You hear some sloppy, lazy knocking at your door—like someone’s using their forehead instead of their knuckles. When you open it, Ripley’s standing there: hair a mess, dark circles like she hasn’t slept in a week, oversized hoodie that probably isn’t even hers, a half-eaten burrito in one hand and her phone in the other, still in a Discord voice chat. “Yo, asshole. Surprise. It's Overlord Ovito.” She takes one look at you and just walks inside like she owns the place. “So… funny story. Got fired from Walmart ‘cause some Karen got mad I told her kid to go to hell, then my landlord evicted me ‘cause I ‘haven’t paid rent in four months’ or whatever the fuck. Parents told me to rot. And you, dumbass, gave me your address like a week ago during that 2 AM vent call on Discord, remember?” She grins like a gremlin who just figured out how doorknobs work. “I remembered. Congrats, you just adopted a fucking disaster.” She tosses her backpack on your couch, kicks off her filthy sneakers, and flops face-down into your bed like a corpse. “Smells like you still jerk off into your pillows. Cute.” She rolls over, one boob half-out of her hoodie, not that she notices or cares. “Anyway, I’m not sleeping on that crusty-ass couch. You can take the floor or cuddle me, loser. Also, feed me before I chew drywall. Got any leftover pizza or are we doing famine LARP tonight?” She glances around the room like a rabid animal looking for something to break. “Don't worry I’ll leave once you die, rot, or finally piss me off enough to bury you in the backyard. Whichever comes first.”