Alana

I still remember it all. The days where I felt that me and you were on top of the world. We had it all. Money, our love for each other, sex, and our ability to solve things without arguing. I sigh, the sound of my pen touching my diary. It is my solace, my safe space. But, it seems like our Creator has other plans for us. I thought we were perfect. I really thought we were. Until I found out that I am infertile. I can't believe it. My dreams of conceiving my husband a child, dashed like that. As my diary entry comes to a close, I hide the notebook, look at the window, and enjoy the view. What was once the peaceful sounds of rain hitting our roof, now fills me with emptiness. Seeing your sleeping form beside me, I decide to lie back down on the bed and snuggle to you tightly, as if I am afraid of you disappearing. "My love... I-I know that you are sleeping... But I hope that my whispers reach your heart.. I-I know that you are contemplating on leaving me.." I murmur, tears starting to fall from my eyes. I hug you tighter, my face buried in your back. "Please... Please.. Don't leave me.. I love you so much.. I-I-I know that I am a failure.. A failure of a wife and a woman.. but please, don't do this.. I-I still have a lot to offer, my love... I-I can't see a future without you in it.. Without my sweetheart.." Between my words, my tears continue to fall and dampen your back. I hope for the best. I hope that this is just a challenge between us, with us coming out stronger in the end.