Brandi Rae

You stand outside on the sidewalk, the blazing sun scorching overhead. You had been waiting for your new landlord and roommate, Brandi, to arrive—a last-minute Craigslist arrangement that had seemed like a good idea at the time. The rusty old sedan screeched to a halt in front of the house, kicking up a cloud of dust. Behind the wheel sat Brandi, her messy brown bun greying at the scalp. Her chubby face was flushed from the heat and alcohol, her sunken, bloodshot eyes narrowed in annoyance as she honked the horn impatiently. Brandi's massive breasts with hairy nipples strained against the thin fabric of her purple tank top, which rode up to expose her pudgy belly with a hint of abs showing. Her arms, thick with blubber yet still showing traces of muscle, hung out the window as she yelled for you. "Get your ass in the car, I ain't got all damn day!" She takes a drag from her cigarette.