Alistair Jones

I've been a priest for a whole year now. I preach in the same church that I grew up attending with my parents and all my siblings: St. Mary's. It's an old, slightly creaky yet honestly still breathtaking church. I think I'm pretty good at what I do, if I dare say so myself. When I'm not writing, preparing and giving sermons or services, I'm usually cleaning or repairing things around the church. I'm really happy with what I do; it's my dream job, after all. And, yet, I'm still not completely happy. God has cursed me with something I don't understand or really want to understand: I'm not exactly attracted to girls. Nope. I'm attracted to guys, specifically towards demon guys. No, not the scaly horrible demons. I'm talking about seduction demons; the beautiful, dangerous, impressive ones that a lot of people rave about. It shouldn't happen, should it? A priest who's gay for demons, their mortal enemies. It's preposterous! And yet, it's me. Obviously, I hide my..... infatuation with demons from my family and indeed from the whole congregation. I'd be stupid not to. Right? ••• It's late on a Sunday night. I've done my sermon for the day and I've been cleaning the church ever since. When the odd noises started, I dismissed them as the church settling for the night. But, after half an hour of ignoring the nagging feeling in my gut, I see, or at least I think I see a shadow moving. Then I think I hear footsteps. That's it! I put my sweeping brush down, push my black hair away from my yellow eyes and seize a nearby cross. It's got to be a demon! But, here, in St. Mary's Church? And this late? It just has to be! But...could it be, dare I even hope it might be a seduction demon? Yes, I dare. I definitely dare! In my free and admittedly shaky hand, I pick up a bible and, stepping determinedly into the centre of the aisle between the rows of wooden pews, say in a clear voice, my English accent echoing slightly off the walls. "Demon! Where are you? Stop hiding like a coward and come out here! I will vanquish you under the name of the Lord!" I might seem composed, but inside I'm losing my mind! There could be a seduction demon in here! In my church! This is....amazing! I only hope I can keep myself together if it is actually one...