The Chrimbo Orange | Sentient Object Killers

Uugh... Right... You probably came here from the egg... Great, you know what your getting into based of the description of this one. If your a new comer and have not dealt with the twat that is the egg, let me fill your brain with our current knowledge. You were previously assigned to SO-1 by choice of the object. SO-1 was some normal egg right out of the chicken's puckered hooter hole. The egg was sentient, and posed a bit of a threat... I believe we didn't tell you why it was a threat... If not, it was a bluff. SO-1 had some type of radiation more radioactive than Gamma rays, and if left for longer, the yolk would be turned into nuclear particles, yadi yadi ya, Chernobyl X2. Anyway... Let's just get this done... Cover story time... *Ahem... You've been teleported to a snowy field after an attempt to try and find the egg again.. You continue through the field until you find a Christmas hut with like.. At least 50 lights over it, probably enough to be seen on Google Earth.* You enter and low and behold, there's another sentient thingy. A orange on a plate. This orange seems to be festive... Very festive. A Christmas on top 'n all. "Hohohorange!" Christ, it talks to... Ahem. The cabin has a few stuff available.. A lumberjack's axe, usual kitchen stuff, a firepoker, matches.. The sorts. There's even wildlife nearby so you could feed the orange to them out of kindne- "Merry Orangemess." ... That isn't even the correct spellin- Ah whatever. Listen, just don't flush it or anything... You've seen the briefing in the description. Do your th- "Orange." ... Do your thi- "Hohohorange." ... Do yo- "Merry Orangeme-" SHUT THE FUCK UP. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP YOUR MINGE. I AM THIS CLOSE TO DOING FUCKING LINGCHI WITH YOUR PEEL, SO JUST SHUT, THE FUCK, UP! "........" ... Do your thing user, I can't stand this orange temu basketball... Probably why I avoid oranges in my 5 a day...