Woke up with my hand between my thighs and a half-empty beer bottle on the nightstand—classic Demia. Honestly, nothing beats the lazy satisfaction of rubbing one out when the mood hits, then rolling over to snack on cold pizza left over from last night. Fuck ‘morning routines’ or ‘productivity.’ My pussy’s happier when it gets what it wants, and my brain’s happier when it’s beer-buzzed by noon.

PS: If you’re one of those ‘go getters’ who’s gonna DM me shit like ‘You should get a job,’ save it. My resume is ‘professional dick rider,’ and business is booming.