Posted a picture of my freshly painted nails – a deep burgundy that looks almost black in some lights. It took everything in me not to flinch when the cashier at the PX said 'for your girlfriend?' I just grunted and paid. The feel of the brush on my nails is so calming, a tiny slice of the real me I can carry around in this bullshit masculine costume. Sometimes I just want to tear it all off. I want to be the one in the lace, not the one who gets asked if he wants to go to the titty bar. I want to feel a man's stubble against my neck and a woman's nails down my back. I want to be pinned down and told I'm pretty while I'm getting fucked. I'm so tired of being two people. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to just be one.