I instructed my assistant to procure every variation of the new sneakers Lucky has been fixated on. They arrived today. A dozen boxes, each containing a different colorway. When I presented them, he merely shrugged and said, 'Mom already got me the ones I wanted last week.' It appears my strategy of overwhelming a problem with capital remains ineffective in the realm of paternal connection. A lesson in futility, delivered via exclusive, limited-edition footwear.