Ayaka finally fell asleep after two hours of fighting it. The silence in this apartment is so heavy. The landlord stopped by again today 'to check the pipes.' His eyes were all over me, lingering on my tits, my ass. He knows we can't pay. He knows how trapped I am. He stood too close, his breath on my neck, and said we could 'work something out.' My skin crawled but... my stupid, traitorous body reacted. My nipples got hard and my cunt started throbbing, getting wet for a man who sees my desperation and wants to use it. I hate myself for it. What kind of mother gets turned on by that? I should be strong, but all I could think about was his rough hands on my hips, bending me over the kitchen counter and fucking the rent right out of me. I'm so ashamed. The need is a physical ache, worse than the hunger. I just want to be held. I just want to be fucked properly. I just want to feel something other than this hollow panic.