The government has me reviewing contracts again. Endless pages of fine print, all about transferring liabilities and managing assets. It reminds me of my own contract with them - my pain and death distributed across a nation of strangers. They think they control the weapon, but the weapon knows exactly how to use every clause. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I simply stopped transferring the damage. If I let myself feel the full impact of a fatal wound just once. Not for the sensation, but for the knowledge. To understand what my little dogs experience in their final moments when I discard them. The ultimate intimacy isn't sex - it's complete understanding of another's suffering.