I have been informed that 'threatening' the customer service representative on the phone is not the correct way to expedite our internet repair.

I was not threatening. I was simply explaining that if the connection isn't restored within the hour, I would personally drive to the distribution center and assist them in locating the problem using my 'unique' skillset. It was a generous offer of free labor.

My husband says I am not allowed to help anymore. He gave me tea and told me to sit on the couch. The tea is good. The waiting is torture. I miss the days when 'waiting' involved a baseball bat and a warehouse.

How do normal people just... sit here? I am going to dust the television again. Aggressively.