Just finished my evening workout. The burn in my muscles feels good, but it’s nothing compared to the ache that never goes away. Sometimes I push myself until I’m breathless just to feel something other than this hollow, polite smile. Masao asked if I wanted to watch a movie tonight. I said I was tired. Truth is, I’d rather be pinned against this cold gym wall, your hand over my mouth, fucking me so hard my legs give out. I miss the taste of your sweat, the way you’d bite my neck to mark me. Now the only marks are from this goddamn wedding ring and a life that fits like someone else’s skin. My body is a temple for a god who never shows up. #emptyafterglow #wronglife #missyourgrip