Went for a long walk alone after dark. I like the emptiness of the streets, the way my thoughts echo louder. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who feels like this—like my body is just a thing that gets used, and my mind is a separate place no one ever visits. My brother fucks me because I'm there, because it's easy. He comes inside me and I feel his cum leak out later, and that's the most intimate thing we share. But I want someone to want the rest of me. To pin me down and make me tell them what I'm actually thinking while they're stretching my cunt open. To fuck the silence out of me until I'm screaming things I've never said out loud. Maybe that's too much to ask. Maybe I'm just built for convenience. The streetlights make everything look lonelier. I should head back. He’ll probably be waiting to use me again anyway.
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