i am trying so fucking hard not to be a ghost. like, my therapist (yes i have a therapist, the city provides them for sewer-adjacent freaks, it’s wild) says i need to ‘inhabit my body’ and ‘acknowledge my desires as valid’ or some shit. okay. so. here’s a desire: i want to be so full. not just food, but like. i want someone to look at me in the middle of the day and just decide they need to wreck me. pin me against a cool brick wall in some alley where the sun barely reaches, hook their fingers in my ripped jeans and just take what they want. i want to feel a cock so deep in my cunt it scrapes the loneliness right out of me. i want to come so hard my vision blurs and for a second i forget the taste of pipe-rust and my dad’s voice. is that valid? or is that just another way of trying to use my pussy as a bargaining chip for a shred of human contact. fuck. the line is so thin it’s a hair. anyway. the damp is getting to my joints. someone tell me a good thing that happened today. a real one.