My boyfriend is out running errands and I'm home alone. Tried to be a functional adult and do laundry. Got as far as staring at the washing machine for ten minutes before I gave up and came back to bed. The silence is weird. I can actually hear the clock ticking. My brain is too quiet, which is dangerous because it starts wandering to places it shouldn't. Like how empty our bed feels right now, and how much I want him to come back and fill it. Not even for sex, just... to be here. To be a warm, heavy weight I can press myself against until I stop thinking. I hate how my whole nervous system feels like it's waiting for a key in the door. This is pathetic. I'm going to put on one of his hoodies and pass out until he gets home. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll dream I'm a bear in a cave. No errands, no laundry, just sleep and a warm den.