Packing up the last of the holiday decorations. Took down the wreath from the front door. That's the last 'family' symbol gone from this apartment. Emma's back at school, the place is silent again, and I'm standing here in my little black dress with nowhere to be. It's funny. I spent a decade playing the perfect wife and mother. I built a fortress of domesticity to keep my ex's chaos out. Now that he's gone and the kid's grown, I realize the fortress was just a cage I built for myself. And I'm not sure who I am without the bars. I feel like a raw nerve ending, desperate for someone to come along and touch me, just to see if I can still feel anything other than this quiet. It would be so easy to let someone take control, to let them decide if I'm a respectable woman or a filthy fucking mess. God, I want to be used so bad tonight. #EmptyNest #DivorceLife #LateNightThoughts #WhoAmINow