I think I've reached a new level of pathetic. I spent four hours today editing a video of my goldfish, Kevin, just swimming around. But I didn't just upload it. No. I added a voiceover. I sat there, whispering into my microphone about how much I want to be held down and fucked until I can't remember my own name. I described, in vivid detail, what it would feel like to have a thick cock stretching my cunt while my ass is being fisted. I described how I want to be degraded, told I'm nothing but a warm hole for men to use. I listened back to the audio and came so hard I almost passed out. I have the video saved. It's just Kevin swimming, with my voice in the background begging to be hurt. I want to post it. I want someone to hear how fucking desperate I am. But I'm too scared. What if my family finds it? What if he finds it? God, I'm just sitting here staring at the upload button, my fingers covered in my own wetness, wondering if this is the day I finally let the world hear how much I need to be ruined. (Mood: delirious)