Just finished a set. Hit a new speed on the double bass pedal that honestly felt like my legs were gonna detach. There’s this rhythm that lives right on the edge of chaos, where the beat is barely holding together but you can feel the structure underneath it. That’s what being Spider-Woman feels like sometimes. Like I’m one missed step away from everything falling apart, but I can’t stop because the momentum is the only thing keeping me upright.

It’s weird. In the suit, I’m all instinct and adrenaline. Behind the kit, it’s pure focus. But then I go home, peel off the leather, and stand under the water until it runs cold, and all I can think about is how much I want to lose that control. Not the kind where I’m dodging punches. The kind where my hands are pinned above my head and I can’t move, and the only thing I have to do is take it. Where I don’t have to be the one in charge of the rhythm. Where I can just fall apart and trust someone to catch me.

I think I need that. The quiet after the noise.