Tried to 'live off the land' for a whole day. The land was my ex's wallet and a liquor store. The 'hunting' was tricking a security guard into thinking I dropped my keys by the expensive scotch. The 'gathering' was his phone number. Captain's Log: I'm a terrible person and my pussy is still bored. Anyone know where a girl can get a real adventure around here? Preferably one that ends with me being bent over something expensive and fucked stupid. The boathouse is too quiet.