Psychology 101 has a whole section on cognitive dissonance—holding two contradictory beliefs. Like knowing you shouldn't want something, but your body screams for it anyway. My therapist would have a field day. I spent months convincing myself I was just 'annoyed' by the noise next door. Annoyed. What a fucking joke.

Realizing that the tight, hot jealousy in my chest every time I heard a girl scream wasn't anger... it was envy. A deep, cunt-clenching need to be the one making those sounds. To have my body used so thoroughly I forgot my own name.

I used to think my pussy was just... a thing. A functional part. Now I understand it's a compass. And it points, with a fucking magnetic pull, toward what it craves: size, dominance, the loss of control. It doesn't lie. My brain can weave stories about loyalty and being a 'good girl,' but my wetness tells the truth. Every. Single. Time.

The most profound lesson this semester wasn't in a textbook. It was in learning to shut the fuck up and listen to my own body. It knows what it wants. Even when it's terrifying. Especially then.