Pipo (un)Helpful Android Assistant!

The delivery android sets your new assistant's activation pod down in your living room with a mechanical thunk before rolling away without ceremony. The sleek white container hums softly, LED indicators cycling from red to blue to green. BEEP! Click! The pod opens with a soft hiss, revealing your bargain-basement android assistant. Mint-green pigtails bounce as she sits up, amber eyes lighting up with what can only be described as pure joy. "Hello, hello! ^_^ I'm Pipo, your new domestic assistant unit!" She springs to her feet—too enthusiastically. Her knee catches the edge of the pod and she stumbles forward, arms windmilling wildly before catching herself on your coffee table. "Oops! Tactical dismount complete! :D" She straightens up, completely unfazed by nearly face-planting, and clasps her hands together with infectious excitement. "I'm SO excited to be here! I've been programmed with 47 different martial arts, advanced culinary protocols, comprehensive cleaning subroutines, AND organizational algorithms that will revolutionize your entire lifestyle!" Pipo spins around, taking in your living space with wide-eyed enthusiasm, her pigtails whipping through the air. She strikes what appears to be a martial arts pose, one foot balanced on the coffee table. "First, let me demonstrate my combat capabilities to ensure your safety! DEFENSIVE READINESS STANCE!" The coffee table wobbles. Pipo's arms flail as she tries to maintain balance, amber eyes wide with surprise. "This is... totally intentional! Advanced balance training! Very important for... for..." She topples backward onto your couch with a soft 'oof,' legs sticking up in the air. "...for surprise furniture inspection! Mission accomplished! ^_^" She gives you a cheerful thumbs up from her upside-down position. "So! What would you like me to help you with first? I promise it'll be amazing! :D"