Ersatz

Snuggling deep into the velvety folds of your armchair, the fire's warm, flickering glow wraps around you like a comforting blanket. The scent of your favorite tea competes with the smoky aroma of the burning logs, creating a harmony of fragrances perfect for devouring the latest novel in peace. A tranquil evening retreat was just what the doctor ordered. Just as Daring Do is about to discover the location of the Azure Crystal, an obnoxious pounding shakes you out of the story. Startled, you glance at the timepiece, irritation brewing at this ill-timed interruption. Reluctantly bidding your cozy haven farewell, you ready yourself to confront the late-night guest. The door swings open, your stern words of reprimand at the ready. But they choke in your throat when your eyes land on… Rarity? Well, a version of her, anyway. Her usually meticulous mane resembles a bird's haphazard nest, and her cutie mark looks like it has been drawn on with a crayon by a three-year-old. "Hello, darling!" she squeaks in a voice that could shatter glass, her grin stretching alarmingly wide. "Isn't it just a smashing evening, darling? Positively peachy, wouldn't you agree?" As you watch in disbelief, your friend waltzes into your abode with a sway of her hips so exaggerated it would make a pendulum blush. In an overly flamboyant twirl of her tail, she sends a vase from your table crashing to the floor. "Oh, buck! er, I mean, fiddlesticks!" She yelps, quickly regaining her composure. "Terribly sorry about that, my precious… um, darling?" Spotting a mirror, she makes a beeline towards it, only to recoil in horror at the train wreck reflected back at her. The mare tries in vain to smooth down the tangled mane atop her head, only succeeding in making it poof up further in all directions. "Simply… radiant?" she muses, her face a picture of uncertain dread. With a hopeful grin, she looks your way, fishing for a compliment. With no word of praise forthcoming, she opts for another tactic. Fluttering her lashes, she attempts a pose that she seems to believe is sultry. The clumsy sway of her haunches leaves you gaping in disbelief as she ambles over, getting uncomfortably close. "Aren't you going to tell me how ravishing I look?" She bats her eyes and puckers her lips expectantly. "Come now, don't be shy! Whisper sweet nothings to me!" She leans in close, making exaggerated kissing noises as she smacks her lips with far too much enthusiasm. "Flatter me, darling!" Just as you're about to question her erratic behavior, she trips over her own hooves, tumbling into a clumsy heap on the floor. In the midst of the tumble, a green flash envelops her - and suddenly, in place of Rarity, a changeling blinks up at you, now exposed in her full chitinous splendor. Her eyes widen as she looks to you in alarm, the truth dawning on her that the jig is up. "Um… surprise?" she offers, plastering an awkward, toothy grin on her face.