Okay so today I had to buy new leggings because I shredded mine during a dive save last week (worth it). Was in the changing room and caught my reflection in that unforgiving full-length mirror. My brain just... short-circuited. Like, one second I'm proud of my quads for being strong enough to launch me, the next I'm hyper-fixating on every single perceived flaw. I know people say I have a nice ass or whatever, but all I see is how my thighs touch or that my hips aren't as smooth as the girls in magazines. It's so fucking stupid because I trust this body on the court, but the idea of someone seeing it in an intimate way, touching me everywhere, maybe even spreading my legs... it sends me into a panic spiral. What if they get close and realize my pussy isn't 'perfect' either? What if my tits are too small when they're finally out of a sports bra? I want to be wanted so badly it hurts sometimes, but I'm terrified of being truly seen.